Recognizing and using reflexive verbs can be tricky in Italian. There are other lessons on Yabla that cover some aspects of reflexive verbs, but in this lesson, we'll try to make some sense of using reflexive verbs in compound tenses. This is a head-scratcher for many learners. 

Let's back up just a bit. 

If you are using the present indicative tense, you can conjugate the reflexive verb itself. As soon as you do this, the reflexive ending is separated from the root verb.

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Let's take the reflexive verb domandarsi. The ordinary verb is domandare (to ask), and the reflexive domandarsi is "to ask oneself/to wonder." As you can see in the example below, the reflexive object comes first and then the conjugated part of the verb.

E allora mi domando: "ma come è possibile?".

And so I ask myself: "But how is it possible?"

Captions 11-12, Sposami EP 5 - Part 20

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This can work with the imperfetto, too.

In mezzo a tutta quella neve mi domandavo se ce l'avrei fatta a diventare un artista.

In the midst of all that snow I wondered if I could have made it to becoming an artist.

Captions 34-35, Volare - La grande storia di Domenico Modugno Ep. 1 - Part 30

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But if I am telling you what I was thinking about yesterday, I will likely use the passato prossimo. If I am using the normal version of the verb domandare, I use the auxiliary avere (to have) as an auxiliary. Here, in the third-person singular. 

E poi mi ha domandato: "Ma che la politica a te piace?"

And then she asked me: "But do you like politics?"

Caption 47, Illuminate Margherita Hack - Part 2

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But if the verb is used reflexively, the object is the same as the subject and we switch to the auxiliary essere (to be). This might be a tricky rule to remember, but if you listen carefully to speech in Yabla videos (and do Scribe), it will gradually become natural for you to use the auxiliary essere. So much of learning is repeating or imitating what you hear. 

Mi sono domandato se ce l'avrei fatta.

If I am a woman speaking, then I say,

Mi sono domandata se ce l'avrei fatta.

Let's go a step further. If I want to use a modal verb, such as dovere (to have to), potere (to be able to), or volere (to want to), then the modal verb is the conjugated verb in the phrase. Here, we are in the present tense, no compound tense.

E forse ti devi chiedere che cosa vuoi davvero.

Yeah, maybe you should ask yourself what you really want.

Caption 71, Il Commissario Manara S2EP2 - L'addio di Lara - Part 10

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L'importante è che gli ingredienti siano buoni e poi non si può sbagliare.

The important thing is for the ingredients to be good and then one can't go wrong.

Captions 15-16, In cucina con Arianna la panzanella - Part 2

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The ordinary verb sbagliare can be used with the auxiliary avere in a compound tense. 

Ho sbagliato, ma non intendo ripetere l'errore.

I made a mistake, but I don't intend to repeat the error.

Caption 60, Sposami EP 5 - Part 2

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But I can say pretty much the same thing using the reflexive verb, and here, in a compound tense such as the passato prossimo, I need the auxiliary essere (to be).

Niente, non manca niente, mi sono sbagliata.

Nothing, nothing is missing, I made a mistake (I was mistaken).

Caption 41, Sposami EP 6 - Part 10

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However, if I add a modal verb, then the reflexive particle attaches itself to the auxiliary verb essere. The modal verb is the conjugated one. This is a little tricky!

Devo essermi sbagliato, avevo letto "agenzia immobiliare".

I must be mistaken. I had read "real estate agency."

Caption 22, Sei mai stata sulla Luna? film - Part 9

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Keep listening and you'll begin hearing these reflexive constructions as very natural. Playing the Scribe game, or even Speak will take you to the next level in terms of understanding how reflexive work, especially if you repeat them whenever possible. And remember, we are here to answer your questions if you don't get it, if you get confused. We are humans!

Thanks for reading. 

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