How to Offer Condolences in Italian

Por Sigrid Lee

One of our Yabla learners has asked about what to say when someone has died, or what to write in a condolence note. There have been so many deaths from the coronvirus that expressing condolences is an important thing to be able to do.

The most important word is condoglianze, from con (with) and doglianza (lament). In other words, you are mourning with the person to whom you express your condolences. You feel their sorrow. The English cognate is a true one, which makes it easy to remember.

In Person or on the Phone

In the following example, the condolences are expressed as part of a conversation, and the person talking is not a close friend -- he's a sort of lawyer (and note that in Italian, a person's professional title is often used by itself to address him or her), so the condolences are very basic and quick, but perfectly acceptable and polite. The adjective to know is sentito. This comes from the verb sentire (to feel, to hear, to sense). Sentito can mean "sincere," "heartfelt," or "deep."

Buongiorno notaio, piacere.

Hello, Notary, pleased to meet you.

-Condoglianze sentitissime.

-My deepest condolences.

-Grazie tante, tante grazie.

-Thanks very much, many thanks.

Captions 30-32, Sei mai stata sulla luna? - film
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Le mie condoglianze, dottor Del Serio. -Grazie.

My condolences, Doctor Del Serio. -Thank you.

Caption 26, La Tempesta - film
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So really, just two words were used, and it could have been just one: condoglianze. It's enough, especially when you don't really know the person who passed away.

If we're talking to a friend who has just lost a family member, for example, we can use the informal verb fare (to make, to do). You might not know the person who died, but you know that your friend is grieving:

Ti faccio le condoglianze per la perdita di tuo padre/nonno/tua madre/nonna.

I'm sorry for the loss of your father/grandfather/mother/grandmother.

You can also keep this short and just say:

Ti faccio le condoglianze.

I'm sorry for your loss.

More Formally and in Writing

But if we want to say more, here's a common way to do it. It employs the verb porgere, to extend, to offer.

This first example is if you are speaking or writing formally to one person you aren't on a first-name basis with.

Le porgo le mie più sentite condoglianze.

I extend my deepest condolences to you.

If you are talking or writing to more than one person, say, parents, or a couple, or an entire family, then it's:

Vi porgo le mie più sentite condoglianze.

I offer you my deepest condolences.

You can also leave out mentioning the person:

In questa triste circostanza porgiamo sentite condoglianze.

On this sad occasion, we offer heartfelt condolences.

Alternative Terms

Another word people use when sending a condolence note is cordoglio (grief, sorrow, mourning, condolences).

Esprimiamo con grande dolore il nostro cordoglio.

We would like to express, with great sorrow, our condolences.

Another important word to know is il lutto (the mourning, the bereavement, the grief). This example describes an ancient Roman sarcophagus of a child.

E i due genitori sono affranti, di lato c'è la mamma

And the two parents are overcome. At the side there's the mother

che sembra ormai avvolta in un dolore profondo, irrecuperabile.

who by now seems to be shrouded in deep, hopeless sorrow.

E poi c'è il padre.

And then there is the father.

Entrambi hanno il capo coperto con un velo in segno di lutto,

Both have their heads covered with a veil as a sign of mourning.

non guardano più neanche il bambino.

They no longer even look at the child.

Captions 37-40, Meraviglie - EP. 2 - Part 6
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You can use lutto in a condolence note:

Partecipiamo commossi al vostro lutto.

We take part, emotionally moved, in your grief [we feel/join in your grief].

A shop or restaurant, where a family member or employee has died, might have a sign that says:

Chiuso per lutto

Closed for bereavement

One more word you might see, for example, on the signs we see around in Italian towns, announcing the death of a citizen, is addolorato (aggrieved, distressed). It comes from the verb addolorare (to sadden) or addolorarsi (to be saddened).

Sei confusa, addolorata, ma lo sai che lui ti merita.

You're confused, aggrieved, but you know that he deserves you.

Captions 85-86, Il Commissario Manara - S1EP11 - Beato tra le donne
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You can use addolorato in a condolence note: